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Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
Les Dawson
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Albert Einstein
Absence -- that common cure of love.
Miguel De Cervantes
For 70 nights, right across America, I've been getting out there with two ex-lovers and we've been playing songs which are so specific about each of us, you just wouldn't know. We're friends now but we can't forget what happened between us.
Stevie Nicks
My best friend is the one who brings our the best in me.
Henry Ford
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Unknown
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
Homer Simpson
We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.
Chris Rock
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
Brian Pickrell
"You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does..."
Tom Petty
For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.
Ivan Panin
Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones.
Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball.
There's no fool like an old fool --- you can't beat experience.
Jacob Morton Braude
The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it.
Doris Day
My father was a simple man. My mother was a simple woman. You see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton.
Chic Murray
In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that he did not also limit his stupidity.
Konrad Adenauer
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
John Barrymore
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
Erma Bombeck
Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
Henry David Thoreau
Beauty has to take a back seat to whatever else may lie in your heart. Sometimes love or something like it takes a form such as a thought across the internet.
Submitted by Bobette
Love is the beauty of the soul.
St. Augustine
The most beautiful view is the one I share with you.
Author Unknown
Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?
Cinderella
Good taste and humour...are a contradiction in terms, like a chaste whore.
Malcolm Muggeridge
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
Anonymous
It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
Laurence J Peter
I was sued by a woman who claimed that she became pregnant because she watched me on television and I bent her contraceptive coil.
Uri Geller
It is a beautiful trait in the lovers character, that they think no evil of the object loved.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones.
Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Second marriage: the triumph of hope over experience.
Samuel Johnson
At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual.
Partick Moore
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
John Barrymore
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Frank Zappa
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeners
One never married, and that was his hell; another did, and that was his.
Robert Burton
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
Benjamin Franklin
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin
Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?
Cinderella
It is a beautiful trait in the lovers character, that they think no evil of the object loved.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow